My Bad Tequila
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Tiger Woods takes a huge dump at Waste Management; Caboholics Convention coming soon;  Sherlock Holmes Protégé solves Abby's Golf Bag Mystery; Brian Williams is .......

1/31/2015

2 Comments

 
January 2015 Blog

Amigas & Amigos – Happy New Year, this is the first Blog of 2015 and it is shaping up to be quite a year already.

I’m heading to Cabo in February for the 4th Annual Caboholics Convention and the grand opening of the Caboholics Store in downtown Cabo San Lucas by Caboholic Founders Johnny & Maddie Haney aka Mr. & Mrs. Corona.  Membership is over 5300 of the wildest, tamest, fun loving people of the United States, Canada & Mexico.  I’m honored to be a part of this group now for about four years; however this is my first convention. All kinds of activities will await from Booze Cruise with snorkeling, Fire Truck rides with beer drinking, Pub Crawls with Tequila shooting, visits to the Humane Society, Orphanage and that’s just the first two days. There is hiking of Sol Mar mountain, a bus trip to Los Santos to see the famous Hotel California, a fund raising dinner with silent auction for the humane society & boys club with many donating Sponsors including my Texas Amigo Chris Shuler’s new restaurant – La Palapa & Two for the Road owned by Amiga & Amigo Kathy & Marty Daniels who perform jazz nightly and I’ve been asked again this year to have another book signing there. My Bad Tequila is also a proud sponsor right alongside the Giggling Marlin, Cabo Blue, Wet Cactus, Wicked Pizza, Cabo Lounge, Cabo Cantina and Tanga Tanga, what great cantinas and bars to be affiliated and named with.  Can’t wait, will post mucho photos when I post February’s Blog at the end of that short month.

Finally, I was able to go see Tiger Woods play in the flesh, first time I’ve seen him live at the Phoenix Open aka Waste Management at TPC Scottsdale and boy was I disappointed, good thing I went Friday because Eldrick Woods did not make the cut. I wanted to see him golf before he lost all of his teeth. Tiger’s front tooth was knocked out earlier this month by a photographer and his camera, not sure if ex wife   paid for it to be done or not, so far they’re claiming accident; but, that is what he claimed when she took a nine iron to him after finding out about his whore lovers.

The Waste Management golf tournament was a riot, an extreme party on a golf course made up of mostly hot chicks that have never golfed and old frat boys that I hope never grow up.  Thursday’s attendance which was the first day of the tournament set a new record of 118,436 eclipsing the old opening day record of over 30,000 golfing revelers and wanna be models or chicks that think they have what it takes to be married to a professional golfer. Lots of thirty something & forty something women looking for a new, high dollar man in their baby making years that are ticking away far too rapidly. On Friday morning I made my way to the 16th hole – loudest hole in golf where Tiger Woods made a hole in one in his appearance in 1996, I was there that day as well; but, chose to follow Phil Mickelson that day which turns out to be a mistake. My girlfriend at the time Patricia wanted to follow Tiger, but the crowds were so large that we decided against, been kicking myself ever since. So, I decided to wait for Tiger on the 16th hole in a shared suite with very rich and famous companions of Will Ferrell and Jimmy Fallon just a few seats away. Tiger was flustered, not smiling as usual and hardly acknowledging the crowd as he was having his worst golfing day as a professional where he shot 11 over for the day for an 82 and plus 13 for the two days which ended him in a tie for dead last – 132 players & he ties for 131st place with some guy I have never heard of, but probably have played golf with when I shot my best round ever on 4th of July, 1994 in Mesa, AZ in 109 degree weather. I drove through the sprinklers on most every hole to keep myself cooled on in route to a career best 77 which had I received that score on Friday I could have / would have beaten the great Tiger Woods by 6 strokes. Now, I know some of you mathematicians out there are saying, “hey, wait a minute 82 subtract 77 = 5 strokes.” Yes, but I was playing a 72 par course and Tiger a 71 par course with a nearly same slope rating.

Well enough of this golf stuff!  That cool dude Brian Williams the reporter is everywhere I tell ya.  He was at the Waste Management Open in Scottsdale helping Tiger Woods read putts and I'm almost sure I saw him on New Year's Eve at the Fiesta Bowl when Boise State made it 3 for 3 at University of Phoenix Stadium, this year against Arizona Wildcats. I am almost sure he will attend next month's 4th Annual Caboholics Convention in Cabo San Lucas.  I'll be sure to have many pictures of him hangin' with most of us. Brian Williams, Tequila & MasterCard - everywhere YOU want 2 B!

Well, wait I have a story with pictures at the end about my Amigo in Green Valley, AZ – Manuel aka Abby that was playing in a golf tournament and discovered that someone had f-cked with his bag. Being that I’ve always wanted to be a Sherlock Holmes guy and since I was having beers and margaritas with Tiger since he didn’t make the cut, I tried my “Elementary Dear Watson” routine out and here is what I discovered and uncovered.


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Abby's own words on facebook of what he found: "CLEANED OUT MY GOLF BAG AND DISCOVERED I HAD TWO FULL BOTTLES OF WATER, SEVERAL CRUSHED CANS OF BEER, SEVERAL RANGE BALL'S AND SEVERAL OLD SCORE CARD STUCK DOWN THE HOLES WHERE MY GOLF CLUBS GO. MY CLUB'S WERE NOT GOING IN THE HOLES ALL THE WAY. I GOT A FEELING WHICH GOLFER'S DID THIS BECAUSE I HAVE THE OLD SCORE CARDS. .PAY BACK ARE A BEEACHE."


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Rico aka Sherlock Holmes wanna be:  "Okay, I'll tell you what happened. I saw Tiger fuc&ing around with Your bag & we got into an argument & I punched Tiger in the mouth & his tooth came out and then he poked me in the eye and he felt bad so he bought me a beer and while that was going on, one of your old girlfriends said, Is that Abby C.'s bag? That guy left me at the alter, that son of a bitch" & then she threw some stuff in your golf bag. So I think that is what happened! Tiger is here at my house right now drinking Tequila with me because he shot 2+ yesterday & 11+ today & we're joking that he is a worse golfer than Abby! 

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here is the beer Tiger Woods bought me after poking me in the eye! he likes the Arizona State Sun Devils beads that You & Kim gave me. He wants some or one of Your Boise State Broncos Blue Fans & he wants to be a Blue Elvis! 


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I didn't know that Tiger & Justin Bieber are Homeys & now we going to become a Wolfpack like in The Hangover 1, 2 & 3! We might even star in The Hangover 4 since Tiger knows Mike Tyson & he is missing a front tooth too. It is such a small world! I love hangin' with these guys - Tequila & Women everywhere! 

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Here I am with Zach Galifianakis, enjoying another beer that Tiger bought me when my eye got better! Amigo Zach is showing me how to act as a Wolfpack member for my upcoming audition!


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               Here I am with some chicks that the Canadian boy singer of
                    Justin Bieber - Never Say Never hooked me up with!


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Here's Your Ex girlfriend that put all the shit in your golfbag. She wasn't very hot looking on the golf course; but when Tiger Woods & I stared drinking My Bad Tequila with her, You know she ain't half bad! I think she might be Tiger's next girlfriend & then EX. I think she'll probably go after him with a golf club like his former EX wife did because she seemed kinda like a crazy bitch especially when she does shooters on the bar!


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Well at least the mystery is solved and you won't have to go looking for guys that are going undercover like these 2 dudes I saw. I think they're guilty of something because they just didn't seem quite right - something was a miss! LMAO  ;-)  
Hope You enjoyed the Saga! I think this should be a short story or a full length movie!


And now a message from Cliff to Norm of which You all should take heed!
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"Drinking Tequila speeds the process up even more, killing all the weak brain cells so that the smarter ones have more room to process, thus making those that drink Tequila very intelligent while making wise decision upon good decision of those based with a Yes or No response!"  author & tequila connoisseur Rico Austin

 

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                   Brian Williams, Tequila & MasterCard - Everywhere YOU want 2 B!


http://elitedaily.com/life/15-reasons-tequila-actually-really-good/927020/ 

Buenos Noches Compadres!
Saludos y Vayan con Dios,
Last, but not least, please “LIKE” my new page on Facebook, "ELVIS - (In The Shadow Of)"

https://www.facebook.com/#!/InTheShadowOfElvisPerilsOfAGhostwriter?fref=ts


Now that You’ve had the opportunity to “LIKE,” it is now time to “Buy.”

http://www.amazon.com/In-Shadows-Elvis-Perils-Ghostwriter/dp/1936745097/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1367280599&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=in+the+shadow+of+elvis


Uncle Rico
Rico Austin
Author, Blogger, Tequila Connoisseur, Co-Songwriter, Part-time Movie Star, CEO, Amigo & One Righteous Dude - MY BAD TEQUILA

"Have a Double Shot of Reality" TM


www.mybadtequila.com
blog.mybadtequila.com 



2 Comments
David L. Van Amburg
2/18/2015 01:28:45 pm

Good read this month, can't wait for your take on the 4th Annual Caboholics Convention.

Reply
Rico link
2/19/2015 02:19:53 am

Gracias Amigo David for enjoying the My Bad Tequila Blog. Yes, next month should be entertaining for You, the 6000 other Caboholics and the other Tens of Thousands readers getting to read about the exploits of the Caboholic Support Group and the 4th Annual Caboholic Convention with over 400 attendees which more than doubled the previous year of 180 participants. "Have a Double Shot of Reality" & Tequila!

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