February Blog 2015
Amigas & Amigos, the end of February has graced us with its short month and what a blast as I have “Blame it on Mexico” to bear most of the fun experiences.
February is usually a tough month for me as it was the 28th of February 1978 that I lost my youngest brother to a tree climbing / falling accident in which he broke his neck at the young age of 10 years. I try to look at it as a blessing, because little Steven is in heaven and didn’t have to see the World Trade center fall to terrorists, has not seen the devastation by Mother Nature done to Earth and its humans by way of Hurricane, Tornado, Cyclone, Earthquake, Drought and Famine to name just a few. Yes, Steven had a great life of 10 years with very little heartache and misery. He was one of the lucky ones, as Billy Joel wrote & sang, “Only the Good Die Young.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjNm20XbXw
Now, “Blame it on Mexico” by Mr. George Strait http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=blame+on+mexico&FORM=VIRE2#view=detail&mid=582F770387AD3371347E582F770387AD3371347E
What a fantastic month and visit to Cabo San Lucas because of the Caboholics 4th Annual Convention, a group started by Johnny & Maddie Corona. Here is their description on Facebook of what a Caboholic is: “This group was created to help all Caboholics cope with the day to day struggles of Caboholism....” “YES, I am a true Caboholic,” but there are another 6,000 members plus that are true Caboholics as well.
Not sure who is and was with more famous people. My niece Audrey Austin was with the Grammy folks in Tinsel Town & I'm hangin' in the town that Amigos Sammy Hagar, Brian Flynn, Miguel Hill & Johnny Corona built! Lovin' the Caboholics Support Group! Audrey you and Courtney deserved this trip & I included 3 photos mixed into the Caboholic photos for a nice variety and mix. Thank You for making me proud and please ignore the bad words in this blog, they are used strictly for emphasis and sensationalism! love Uncle Rico
Well, my adventure began on the early morning of Feb. 5th, for a 6:20 am flight 2787 of which Southwest would not check my luggage all the way through from PHX – SJD because of the many hours of layover between my connecting flight in SNA Orange County. Fog was heavy in Orange County so my flight was canceled and I was moved onto a later flight that was late leaving; however I was assured by the gate agents of Southwest Air that I would be able to retrieve my bags and books, recheck at Orange County and then reboard the same plane bound for Cabo San Lucas. But Guess Fuc-ing What? The lead agent at SNA Orange County was not onboard with the plan and told me that I needed to check my luggage at least 1 ½ hours before the flight – r U kidding me? I just arrived via Southwest and could not check my luggage all the way through as per Phoenix agents. SNA agent Jacquie Plitt smugly tells me with a smile on her face, “You’re not going to Cabo today and You’re not going to Cabo tomorrow!” I asked why I wouldn’t be able to go manana Feb. 6th and she said, “because we’re sold out.”
Unbelievable, they wouldn’t put me up for the two nights so I had to fly back to Phoenix and was charged by “Jacquie Plitt the Southwest Twit that doesn’t give a Shit” about customer service, you or I.
I then booked with USAirways flight 532 on Feb. 7th and arrived safely into Cabo to begin my incredible adventure which makes PeeWee Herman’s adventure look like child’s play on Saturday.
My first night was spent at Siesta Suites right in the middle of Cabo – very convenient and clean. I loved it except for the episode of the “Hand” of which I’ll get to in just a bit. First stop after checking into the hotel was to see my Amigo Chris Shuler of Gonzalez, Texas Fame and his restaurant La Palapa where I met fellow Caboholics Pam and Jim Conway. Pam was experimenting with a new drink and “of all the margarita joints in all the towns in all the world I walk into her,” instead of Chris who was nursing a toothache. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa8d-jwFwds – scene from Casa Blanca with Humphrey Bogart. Yes, I walked into the right bar at the right time to try the first “Blue Snapper” – pictures at the end of the blog.
Later that night I stumbled into Two for the Road Jazz Spot owned by great friends Kathy and Marty Daniels. Kathy was relaxing at the bar while Marty played piano and newly met Amiga Corey Prentice whom all afore mentioned are also of that special, giving, partying, fun loving Caboholics Support Group. I would be back Monday night for a book signing and to hear Ms. Kathy Daniels belt out the tunes with her deep, melodic, blues baritone voice.
Now, for the scariest part of this blog except when I was trapped in an elevator for a short time because of a power failure as I held the cold, metal handrails tightly waiting for a freefalling crash to the bottom of six high flights of stairs. Complete darkness and of course I had my sunglasses on which made the darkness even more magnified and me more terrified than when I saw the “HAND!” I had only shared this story in first “hand” conversation with one other person – Ms. Brooke Yoder of Clark, Washington, who was fairly impressed when I told her that I knew where Clark, Washington was located and had eaten at the local Taco Bell some odd years ago. I shared the story over a drink at Happy Endings, bar #2 (officially, I believe) on the Poker Crawl a few days later. What did not impress me about Brooke was her laughter after I confided my torturous, medieval tale of fear that had enveloped me my first sunny morning wake up at the Siesta Suites – woooo!
It was early morning and the bright sun was shining through the only window in my room, a small, rectangular window set high on the wall. I opened my eyes in celebration of my first full day in Cabo which would be my first opportunity to meet Maddie and Johnny Corona and many other Caboholics. As I went to stretch my arms I saw a shadow of a huge hand, it was the largest shadow of a hand that my eyes had ever seen and it was nearing my neck. I grabbed the covers, pulled them over my head and awaited the hand to squeeze the last breath from my stiffened, trembling body. Nothing, nothing, this killer with the giant hand was toying with me. Was he or it still near the bed? Was it or he still in the room? Seconds, turned into minutes and minutes into more and finally I eased back the cover and I am alone. I then move my arm and the hand suddenly reappears, just as enormous, just as frightening and again I grab for the covers, this time I noticed that the hand joined in the same movements as did my own arm and hand. Thank Goodness, it was a good hand that had clapped many times to great performers, had held other hands much more softer and gentler than his own. It was a hand that knew what hard work in the fields felt like, it was a hand that had stroked and touched every fiber of his own skin at one time or another. It was a firm hand of which had been placed on his body’s heart when the Pledge of Allegiance was recited and the Star Spangled Banner was played or sang at the opening of a ball game. It was Rico’s own hand and he silently clasped it with his other hand in joy and reunion that another day in Cabo would be had.
I jubilantly jumped for joy as I rose from the double bed with a single guy that is married and took a shower. I met Alex and thanked him for his hospitality, asked for directions to Cabo Cantina because I had a book signing to attend with fellow Caboholic Author Stuart Gustafson with his best seller Missing In Mexico.” I had never met Stuart, but our books of Mexico have rivaled each other on the eKindle version of Mexico Travel Genre many times in the last 3 years. My Bad Tequila is rough, startling and goes down like a double shot of raw Tequila. Missing In Mexico is smooth, tranquil and flows like a tasty, well blended margarita. Great stories are both; but, as different and diverse as Mother Mexico.
As I made the very, short walk around two corners and down the main street to help glow in the celebration of the grand opening of the “Official Caboholic Store,” my face lit up like a lighthouse on a foggy night as did another lighthouse like face nearby – Mr. Johnny Corona in the flesh, just as I had seen him a hundred times and more on facebook with his Mexican style sombero, with brown, gray and some snowy colored hair, covering part of his face and atop covering all his head. Even if his hair someday finds itself alone with white color, this man will never be mistaken for Santa Claus as his belly does not look like a bowl of jelly when he laughs and Mrs. Maddie Corona will never be mistaken for Mrs. Claus as Maddie has beautiful dark hair and a complexion of a Greek Goddess.
I waved the instant I saw Johnny and he to me as in a second Mr. Corona too knew who I was by our constant companionship on Facebook with hundreds of other true, cyber friends who all love each other and respect the friendships we’ve developed and nurtured. His computer was open under the palapa that shaded his table, his chair and his communication device. A Corona cerveza set within an easy grab length from whichever key he choose to stroke with his quick, fun anecdotes of sharing his love of Cabo Life, Boobs, Dogs, Maddie, Cabo Blue and not in this order as his first and greatest love is of his mate for life – the other, prettier Corona.
Johnny stood as I moved closer and we held each other like Brothers reunited after years apart, sailing other seas. I was so pleased that I met Johnny for a one on one time that will forever be cherished as the opportunity to talk with Johnny alone again came up once more at the Auction on the second floor outside when he asked me, “Did you bid on anything?” “YES,” I responded, “on YOUR empty Arco del Cabo Tequila bottle that Miguel Hill gave you.” Johnny smiled. Later that week I took home to Arizona a small part of Cabo San Lucas history.
After about ten minutes three more individuals walked up to our table, two of them gave Johnny a big hug and introductions were made of the Seahawk wearing couple and their friend. David Bambino who has the tan of a thousand Italians and his bonita esposa – Ms. Marnee Ricker of Spokane, WA and their amiga Kat Drake, whose mission in life is to drive old and young men wild with her female exoticism (someday her Grandchildren will read this & the questions will fly).
Next came Maddie and Pam, so I quickly hugged and introduced myself to Maddie as she and Angel were getting ready for the grand opening with putting on the finishing touches and setting up the donated gifts and books. I asked Pam, “Have you brought any Blue Snapper’s to go,” and gave the fiery redhead a hug.
I then had the extreme pleasure of meeting another couple from the New England area that were great friends with the couple from the Spokane area. Liz N Theo Joyal as per their Facebook name greeted us with Liz’s gorgeous, soft face and strong, Bostonian accent. Theo had the persona and looks of Jimmy Buffett relaxing somewhere in the Keys of Florida. A big Grin and a heart a thousand times that of Grinch after it had Grown.
Stuart Gustafson introduced himself and we signed for each other a copy of one another’s best seller and decided that we needed to share a margarita or three. Miguel Hill showed up with amp, guitar and his great voice as did his amiga Frannie Kapsalis who was busy taking many new Arco Tequila orders of which I placed one for the red bottle that is missing from my home collection. I had met Miguel Hill a few years earlier when he had serenaded my wife Connie and I at his restaurant as we sipped Arco del Cabo Tequila and marveled at Miguel’s songs and agave juice. It was great to hug Miguel again and smell the Tequila on his breath as he too took in the aroma of the tequila that hung heavy with me.
The sweet, sweet Mariana Estrada-Tallman came waltzing again into my Cabo life and I once again felt complete. I had met Mariana on that same trip to Cabo when I first met Miguel and Mariana introduced me via facebook to Miguel and the delightful, hospitable Mr. Juan Ramon Tatemura Quesada of Cabo Lounge Bar fame. Mariana was also responsible for introducing me to the great couple Kathy and Martin Daniels of Two for the Road Jazz Spot of which is a staple of my rich diet in Cabo San Lucas. Too, through this social girl, I had met amigo Jay Nance of whom had once owned the Cabo Lounge Bar, but is now a residing neighbor in Arizona. Mr. Larry Bryan came over and introduced himself and told me, "I've been waiting to get my hands on that book of yours, called My Bad Tequila and so it was and so it shall be. Gracias Larry for the true compliment. And a special Thank You to Danny Matthews D Griss for taking the many, memorable photos.
After many songs, ribbon cutting of the opening of the Caboholic Store, some book sales, tequila consumption and cerveza sipping I was asked by Liz N Theo if I wanted to join them, Dave and Marnee, Kat, Brooke and Mariana at J&J La Casa del Habano for some great tequila tasting and a Mojito that Hemingway would appreciate. How could I say anything except, si, Si, SI, Vamos! ;-)
Gran Centenario Anejo Tequila has now taken the place in my mind where I thought about sex, boobs, rock n’ roll, fishing, guns, bigger boobs and other manly shit. Liz N Theo introduced me to this nectar of blue agave, fabulous, fucking good tequila and I am in love. I held her, I smelled her, I caressed her, I sipped her, I nibbled her, I tasted her on my tongue, in my mouth, throughout my body and then I wanted my way with her again and again. Each time her bodily fluids running wild through my veins and I knew I would not find another that satisfied me again, in this way, on this earth. In Cabo, I have found true love, I now just call her lovingly, “Tequila!” Even now, she is beckoning me to join her.
I am now awaking each and every morning at the Playa Grande Resort on the sixth floor, in a suite on the corner with 180 degree views of Cabo and the Pacific Ocean, but I am not alone, “Tequila” is near me.
Dear Andy Benish each morning helps start our day, with a "Good Morning Caboholics" picture and wake up call. We do all love seeing his name and the new locale he has decided to bless the Facebook wall with. Keep up the Great Work, we all love and appreciate it and you.
Next on the agenda, the Meet & Greet of the Sponsors for the Caboholic Convention of which I am extremely proud to announce that “My Bad Tequila” book is in great company with other fine restaurants, bars, cantinas, tequilas, condos, delivery services, taxis and hotels. The venue chosen was exceptional at The Giggling Marlin. This is where I first saw and met Flat Chad Erchul and we became constant companions only being separated by the resorts we had unwisely chosen separately. I think I met Flat Chad’s wife Laura briefly, but it was Flat Chad that consumed my time and laughter. We hit strip joints, late night parlors and bars that only Flat Chad knew the password to get in. One night we hooked up with Brian Williams, just the three of us and we were so indiscreet at the Go Go clubs that nobody even recognized any one of us. It was such fun to be with two other celebrities and none of us getting hounded by autograph seekers, mothers that wanted us to kiss their boobies, I mean babies and naked women flaunting themselves carelessly in harmful yet sexy ways (well, that part, we would have been okay with). Usually when I go out with other famous people such as Captain Wild Bill Wichrowski, Sammy Hagar, Zach Galifianakis, Paul Michael Glaser aka Starsky, David Hasselhoff and Lou Dezarn never do we get a quiet moment to just talk like the regular guys we are, except that we’re super famous and chicks dig us and guys want to hang out with us and we get free shit all the time.
Oh speaking of Lou Dezarn, he did leave his famous firehose in Vegas where he regularly hangs out with Carrot Top, Siegfried and Roy, Mike Tyson and occasionally Nicholas Cage to bless us with his presence in Cabo. He also brought a special, little treat with him by the name of Lisa Morin DeZarn who enhances his appearance greatly. Well, I knew it was going to be kinda of an odd event when Texan Katherine Tanton gives me a “Keep AUSTIN Weird” pin shaped like the Texas Flag and Belinda Travers is coaxing me to “Go ahead & wear it” as she pokes it into my shirt and into my skin and playfully adds, “a little blood never hurt anyone.” Lou not wanting to let everyone know that it is really him in the flesh that has made an appearance as the emcee at Giggling Marlin announces himself as Rico Austin and is wearing my “Rico Austin” name tag. So, lo and behold I am given the “Lou Dezarn” name tag and I’m surrounded by women that are telling me that I’m much better looking in person than on television and the movie screen. Being that I know how to handle hot and really hot women in these “Weird” circumstances and “Weird” situations I just let them compliment me and touch me and plant kisses all over my body. Now, Lou sees this and guess what, he goes beserk, saying “I’m the real Lou Dezarn!” That is Rico Austin a low life imitator of an author that became addicted to “Tequila” and he’ll never love you the way that I love Lisa. I just smiled that smile that I’ve seen Johnny Corona do a million times over again and signed another boob, not pretending it was a book.
Hang on, because “AUSTIN keeps getting Weirder” as a tall dude from Folsom Prison, I mean Folsom, California struts into the bar that has a Giggling Marlin as it’s mascot and says, “My name is Craig Duggins, I’m here to meet my amigo, Rico Austin” and then notices the name tag on Lou’s puffed up chest and states, “You’re an impostor because Rico and I are good facebook buddies and I have an autographed copies of all his books.” Lou begins to stutter and the microphone is powered to “Super ON” and everyone whether a Mexican National, Canadian or American heard both Lou and Brian Williams claiming to be someone that they may or may not be and in desperation Lou belts out a “Meatloaf Challenge” to Chris Shuler who was minding his own business and that of three single ladies. Seems that the talented and famous Lou Dezarn had cooked a few meatloaves for Siegfried and Roy at the Mirage on “Tiger Tuesday” at the Mirage and had heard about Senor Shuler’s famous meatloaf in the food circles of which he hung with. Chris accepts the challenge in his Texas drawl on one condition, “That it is held at La Palapa and all proceeds go to Charity” and shows his belt buckle that he won in a meatloaf cook off in Nashville some 17 years ago to the three single girls that could have or might have been older than 50 years young so that would have made them only 33 years of age when Chris Shuler took home the belt buckle and the waitress / judge.
I’m just enjoying the show as “Tequila”, Liz N Theo Joyal and I enjoy each other’s company. I give Flat Chad a high five & since FC knew everyone that was anyone, he introduced me other friends of Katherine and Belinda – who turned out to be Michelle Lopez Anthony, Patti Slater, Donette Wilson Sullivan, Kristin Couillard, Amanda Osborne, Karen Donovan Joyce, Patti Markus, Kathy Hammer, Dot Hayes, Cabo Di and a bunch of other fun, “Giggling” Girls. I believe I heard a “great tale” (pun intended) that Belinda Travers gave to her BFF Patti Slater the first #1 “Whale Tail Caboholic Pin” or perhaps it was the other way around; but it was a heartwarming story of which I wish I had heard Paul Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story.”
After talking with Chris Shuler about the fun and adventures that Wild Bill Wichrowski of Deadliest Catch and I have had we all decided to go to Blue Cabo for cocktails, singing, dancing, romancing and karaoke. I make one last walk around looking for Amigo David L. Van Amburg as we have been chatting on facebook about this trip for months. Still a no show! I probably should make a Disclaimer for this Blog only: “The events happened, the day or night in which it actually happened may or may not be correct. Remember Boys and Girls, Tequila and Cervezas were involved which both are considered Alcohol and are Mind Bending, Memory Losing substances that can help distort your thinking that you’ve become a great dancer, a beautiful voice that has to be heard or that you have become bullet proof and hard falls just make you stronger.” Alrighty then, off to Cabo Blue where Craig and I become heavily intoxicated and talked with several individuals including but not limited to Rick Ayers, , Scott Moore, Alan Thiers and involved in multiple fun conversations of which I don’t recollect many or any of them with the charismatic couple of Kathryn Riechel Stoner and Kirk Stoner of which when my bar tab came due at the end of the great, hot evening my credit card could not be accepted and Margo Marek had to give me the dismal news. I was confused, distraught, embarrassed and several other things that I don’t have the time to list or describe. Low and behold a man who I had just hours earlier met said, “No problemo Rico, here’s $2000 pesos to get you by until you can get things straightened out with your bank or credit card.” How Awesome is Kirk Stoner, he is that Awesome. The next day I called the credit card company, got it straightened out, had mucho casho dinero and when I went to pay Kirk back he tells me, “You signed us a couple of books, take some of that money back.” No way Jose or Kirk, or whatever Your name is: You did a great deed and You will get full payment. Kirk then bought me a beer with his money. ;-) Kirk and I took pictures together with the “Cabo Stong” picture frame. Thank You Amigo!
What day is it now? Maybe Monday, yes Snorkeling and Booze Cruise named Cabo Escape and there were so many of us that others had to go on the Pirate Ship – Cabo Legend? YES, Garrett Doyle was correct with his ever conviction of a prediction that "We're gonna need a bigger boat." Best booze cruise I’ve ever been on, might have been the Caboholic persons, might have been the endless cervezas and tequila, might have been the whale show of which Amiga Katherine Tanton captured a superb shot with her iPad of a breaching whale. I see the whales, the cocktails, but still no David L. Van Amburg. I’m still wondering why Bob Noxious and Mariana Estrada Tallman got preferential treatment and were boarded prior to us others. Could it be that they are well respected in the Circle of Captains of Cabo? YES, great Trip, snorkeling not so great, but the cool water, just hangin’ drinkin’ cervezas in the Sea of Cortez was one of the highlights of the trip. Got to party some more with Justin Erfle, Jessica Ross, Craig Duggins, Mariana, Bob Noxious and some other cool people. Wish Liz N Theo Joyal hadn’t left for the cold just yet. They would have enjoyed another day with Dave, Marnee, “Tequila” and I. This song is for Liz N Theo – You and Tequila make me Crazy by Kenny Chesney; http://www.bing.com/search?q=you+and+tequila+make+me+crazy&src=IE-TopResult&FORM=IETR02&conversationid=
I now have time to go back to Playa Grande Resort, take a swim, perhaps a nap and even a shower (just kidding, of course I took a nap.) I get on Facebook and there is a message from David L. Van Amburg that there has been a family emergency and he will not be making the trip to Cabo. I’m sad for him, say a little prayer and take a nap. Time to get dressed, get my remaining books together and head over to the Two for the Road Jazz Spot for a night of great music, tequila drinking and book signing and maybe a hug or four from a female fan. Yes, Kathy and Marty Daniels are two very special people to Cabo and to me. I love them both dearly and have had many late night conversations , some serious, some outrageous and some just plain slapstick silly, but all enjoyable and meaningful. I did a couple of readings, one from “My Bad Tequila” and another from “In the Shadow of ELVIS, Perils of a Ghostwriter.” I drank some good tequila, shared some memories and stories and stumbled home feeling complete. Well, my home that night was in the backseat of a pickup as my poor little, tired, drunk self just couldn't make it up that hill again. Thank You Mr. Truck owner for not locking the door.
It might be Pub Crawl Day or Meat Loaf Cook Off Day? They’re all running together. Busy schedule, no time for the beach or the pool as I’ve got Amigas & Amigos to see, pubs to crawl to and meatloaf to taste. Guess, I’ll go with the Meatloaf Cookoff since it involves my two, too good amigos Lou & Shu as their head to head competition has them slated. I choose not to judge as I know I’ll love them both and I can not, will not, would not, could not, should not judge this food extravaganza. It was close, but Chris Shuler took home another belt buckle and waitress / judge and Lou, well Lou is still famous and will go back to Vegas to his glamourous lifestyle while the rest of us will return home to our dull and meaningless lives of writing books, milking cows, counting money, selling tires, fixing people’s lives, mending broken bones, serving meals to the homeless, bartending, giving root canals, selling mansions and mega real estate, farming the field, picking the grapes, teaching young children to read, drilling for oil, fishing and prostitution.
Okay, we might be doing the Pub Crawl that consisted of 11 or 12 stops? You might have noticed my detail is getting less and less as I am hovering at over 5,500 words just on this single topic which is over 1/10th of a novel. Some of this may go into a short story or into “My Bad Tequila II, the Next Bottle!” I am going to premature apologize for not remembering all of the Pub Crawl Bars and Sponsors – will try to list what I remember: Hooligans was the last stop I believe, Happy Ending, Wicked Pizza, The Wet Cactus, Cabo Blue Bar, Tanga Tanga, The Jungle Bar, Rips, Cabo Cantina, Rock n Brew, Uno Mas, Sangria Bar & John’s Place. I do remember some of the people on our team – Bob Noxious – team captain, heavy drinker; Jessica Ross and Brooke Yoder and some other people that I couldn’t tell if they were on our team or someone else’s team as the teams were kind of all there or maybe I was just seeing double and triple. I know that Bob told me I won a “I’m a Caboholic” koozie that I had to give my wife when I returned home, but I have Johnny Corona’s empty Arco bottle and a Sponsor Banner given to me by Maddie.
I also need to mention that some events were very charitable, not only in giving dollars and pesos; but, with time donated and spent visiting orphans – Feeding Los Cabos Kids, homeless animals – Humane Society and El Ranchito. I am sad to say that I was signed up for the El Ranchito in San Jose, but missed the ride. Stayed out too late at Two for the Road Jazz Club. Thanks to Maddie for arranging this and to all those that spent part of your valuable vacation time doing something Fantastic and Unselfish.
Hiking Solmar with Cabo Kruzer, the other hike was to be led by Bob Noxious, but he injured his foot and had to cancel so that gave me a legitimate reason to cancel. Thanks a lot Bob!
George Landrum also donated a Fishing Trip Raffle in honor of his late wife Mary at the “Meet and Greet.” “Great Respect for a Great Man that has Respect for a Great Woman.” – rico austin
Todos Santos Day Trip to see the famous Hotel California. I wanted to take this excursion, but will wait to share it when my bride can tag along and I believe we’ll probably spend the night.
Cabo Villas Pool Party was a blast, music a blaring, skin a bearing, Miguel a sharing (his Tequila). I remember seeing Maddie getting pulled around the pool like a queen on her inflatable chariot by several different roman soldiers. I even took my tour of duty like a brave infantryman. I sold a couple of books which bought me a couple of drinks. What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo, we don’t need no stinkin’ IRS.
Fire truck engine ride time! I may be a mongrel Heinz 57 mutt; but, for the first time in all my puppy life I knew what it felt like to be a Dalmation with the wind blowing through my white and black spotted hair, the shrill whistle screaming through my alert ears and my little pug nose getting to smell every little taco stand that we whizzed by with my skinny little tail wagging huge in the air as I was waving my paw at all the children, workers, vacationers, shop owners and other mutts in the street! Pam Conway with her not matching red hair to the red fire truck sat up front. Thanks for a fun time Karen Libby, Scott Martin, Jim Conway, Garrett Doyle and his lovely bride / wingman as he calls her – Maureen Fine Doyle who celebrated her 60th year since birth with the Caboholics. Gracias Bomberos Voluntarios de Cabo San Lucas for your fire protection and Amiga Maddie Corona for putting this together and Amigo Lou Dezarn for convincing me that this was an activity not to miss! Feeling like man's best friend!
Finale was the Dinner / Auction at Desperado’s where many of us donated items of which we made, built, wrote, drank from, or spent cash on providing. The highlight of the night was when they auctioned off the cardboard “Cabo Strong” sign made by Mr. Kevin Crosby (THANK YOU KEVIN) that toured the San Jose / Cabo San Lucas area during the devastating Hurricane Odile. Johnny Corona had the winning bid at I believe $500 and purchased it for his love and partner of Cabo – Maddie Corona. I love the Haneys! I’m just going off a bad memory, but I believe the total raised for the week for various charities was $11,000; If I was still gambling I would double down on that figure as I know how lucky we are as Caboholics and how this group continues to amaze me when it comes to helping others that desperately are in need. Again, Garrett Doyle was correct in his many posts "We're gonna need a bigger boat," and Miguel Hill played his music and sang his Cabo songs and I have my beautiful "Tequila" on my lips.
Special shout out to The Wet Cactus and Keith Perry’s incredible crew. On my last, lonely night I decided to go and have the Lobster Nachos, met a nice couple of Caboholics from the Salt Lake City, Utah area and left my bag that had my Sponsor Flag and my empty bottle of Arco that had previously been finished off by Johnny Corona at The Wet Cactus. When I returned home to my resort I realized I had left the bag of goodies and called the bar. They had the merchandise behind the bar and gave it to me. For their honesty and help, I have them $100 peso and all of us were happy. I relayed this story via facebook to Keith and we also received great news that none of his immediate family were seriously injured in the vehicle accident. GOD is Great!TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S CABO ESCAPE / CABO LEGEND SNORKEL PARTY
CABOHOLIC POKER/CANTINA CRAWL
TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S
I have lived the CABO life, where everybody gets treated like a Rock Star including Sammy Hagar (The Red Rocker)! Last minute one-way fare to CABO $383.00; Taxi from SJD to downtown CABO $17.00, a Blue Snapper drink $10.00 at La Palapa, getting to be on stage with Brian Flynn and/or Miguel Hill, sharing a margarita with Dave and Marnee and having a Mojito at J&J Hemingway's with Liz N Theo Joyal- Priceless!
Lost & Found Section: I lost my pet Scorpion - Sting and my "Keep AUSTIN Weird" pin given by Amiga Katherine Tanton. I am extremely distraught about both losses, more so than my virginity which also fell by the wayside, but that was before I boarded the plane. Last time I saw either one of the other two was on my flight back to Los Angeles. If any of you happen to hear of a story involving someone getting a prick or stung, please notify me immediately and please keep it quiet. I don't need no bad publicity no time, no where, know what I mean. http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/15/us/lax-scorpion-plane/index.html
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"Lovin' Life & Livin' Large!" - rico austin
Saludos y Vayan con Dios,
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Now that You’ve had the opportunity to “LIKE,” it is now time to “Buy.”
http://www.amazon.com/MY-BAD-TEQUILA-Rico-Austin-ebook/dp/B004OC03TS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1427090195&sr=8-2&keywords=rico+austin
http://www.amazon.com/In-Shadows-Elvis-Perils-Ghostwriter/dp/1936745097/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1367280599&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=in+the+shadow+of+elvis
Uncle Rico
Rico Austin
Author, Blogger, Tequila Connoisseur, Co-Songwriter, Part-time Movie Star, CEO, Amigo & One Righteous Dude - MY BAD TEQUILA
"Have a Double Shot of Reality" TM
www.mybadtequila.com
blog.mybadtequila.com
Amigas & Amigos, the end of February has graced us with its short month and what a blast as I have “Blame it on Mexico” to bear most of the fun experiences.
February is usually a tough month for me as it was the 28th of February 1978 that I lost my youngest brother to a tree climbing / falling accident in which he broke his neck at the young age of 10 years. I try to look at it as a blessing, because little Steven is in heaven and didn’t have to see the World Trade center fall to terrorists, has not seen the devastation by Mother Nature done to Earth and its humans by way of Hurricane, Tornado, Cyclone, Earthquake, Drought and Famine to name just a few. Yes, Steven had a great life of 10 years with very little heartache and misery. He was one of the lucky ones, as Billy Joel wrote & sang, “Only the Good Die Young.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjNm20XbXw
Now, “Blame it on Mexico” by Mr. George Strait http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=blame+on+mexico&FORM=VIRE2#view=detail&mid=582F770387AD3371347E582F770387AD3371347E
What a fantastic month and visit to Cabo San Lucas because of the Caboholics 4th Annual Convention, a group started by Johnny & Maddie Corona. Here is their description on Facebook of what a Caboholic is: “This group was created to help all Caboholics cope with the day to day struggles of Caboholism....” “YES, I am a true Caboholic,” but there are another 6,000 members plus that are true Caboholics as well.
Not sure who is and was with more famous people. My niece Audrey Austin was with the Grammy folks in Tinsel Town & I'm hangin' in the town that Amigos Sammy Hagar, Brian Flynn, Miguel Hill & Johnny Corona built! Lovin' the Caboholics Support Group! Audrey you and Courtney deserved this trip & I included 3 photos mixed into the Caboholic photos for a nice variety and mix. Thank You for making me proud and please ignore the bad words in this blog, they are used strictly for emphasis and sensationalism! love Uncle Rico
Well, my adventure began on the early morning of Feb. 5th, for a 6:20 am flight 2787 of which Southwest would not check my luggage all the way through from PHX – SJD because of the many hours of layover between my connecting flight in SNA Orange County. Fog was heavy in Orange County so my flight was canceled and I was moved onto a later flight that was late leaving; however I was assured by the gate agents of Southwest Air that I would be able to retrieve my bags and books, recheck at Orange County and then reboard the same plane bound for Cabo San Lucas. But Guess Fuc-ing What? The lead agent at SNA Orange County was not onboard with the plan and told me that I needed to check my luggage at least 1 ½ hours before the flight – r U kidding me? I just arrived via Southwest and could not check my luggage all the way through as per Phoenix agents. SNA agent Jacquie Plitt smugly tells me with a smile on her face, “You’re not going to Cabo today and You’re not going to Cabo tomorrow!” I asked why I wouldn’t be able to go manana Feb. 6th and she said, “because we’re sold out.”
Unbelievable, they wouldn’t put me up for the two nights so I had to fly back to Phoenix and was charged by “Jacquie Plitt the Southwest Twit that doesn’t give a Shit” about customer service, you or I.
I then booked with USAirways flight 532 on Feb. 7th and arrived safely into Cabo to begin my incredible adventure which makes PeeWee Herman’s adventure look like child’s play on Saturday.
My first night was spent at Siesta Suites right in the middle of Cabo – very convenient and clean. I loved it except for the episode of the “Hand” of which I’ll get to in just a bit. First stop after checking into the hotel was to see my Amigo Chris Shuler of Gonzalez, Texas Fame and his restaurant La Palapa where I met fellow Caboholics Pam and Jim Conway. Pam was experimenting with a new drink and “of all the margarita joints in all the towns in all the world I walk into her,” instead of Chris who was nursing a toothache. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qa8d-jwFwds – scene from Casa Blanca with Humphrey Bogart. Yes, I walked into the right bar at the right time to try the first “Blue Snapper” – pictures at the end of the blog.
Later that night I stumbled into Two for the Road Jazz Spot owned by great friends Kathy and Marty Daniels. Kathy was relaxing at the bar while Marty played piano and newly met Amiga Corey Prentice whom all afore mentioned are also of that special, giving, partying, fun loving Caboholics Support Group. I would be back Monday night for a book signing and to hear Ms. Kathy Daniels belt out the tunes with her deep, melodic, blues baritone voice.
Now, for the scariest part of this blog except when I was trapped in an elevator for a short time because of a power failure as I held the cold, metal handrails tightly waiting for a freefalling crash to the bottom of six high flights of stairs. Complete darkness and of course I had my sunglasses on which made the darkness even more magnified and me more terrified than when I saw the “HAND!” I had only shared this story in first “hand” conversation with one other person – Ms. Brooke Yoder of Clark, Washington, who was fairly impressed when I told her that I knew where Clark, Washington was located and had eaten at the local Taco Bell some odd years ago. I shared the story over a drink at Happy Endings, bar #2 (officially, I believe) on the Poker Crawl a few days later. What did not impress me about Brooke was her laughter after I confided my torturous, medieval tale of fear that had enveloped me my first sunny morning wake up at the Siesta Suites – woooo!
It was early morning and the bright sun was shining through the only window in my room, a small, rectangular window set high on the wall. I opened my eyes in celebration of my first full day in Cabo which would be my first opportunity to meet Maddie and Johnny Corona and many other Caboholics. As I went to stretch my arms I saw a shadow of a huge hand, it was the largest shadow of a hand that my eyes had ever seen and it was nearing my neck. I grabbed the covers, pulled them over my head and awaited the hand to squeeze the last breath from my stiffened, trembling body. Nothing, nothing, this killer with the giant hand was toying with me. Was he or it still near the bed? Was it or he still in the room? Seconds, turned into minutes and minutes into more and finally I eased back the cover and I am alone. I then move my arm and the hand suddenly reappears, just as enormous, just as frightening and again I grab for the covers, this time I noticed that the hand joined in the same movements as did my own arm and hand. Thank Goodness, it was a good hand that had clapped many times to great performers, had held other hands much more softer and gentler than his own. It was a hand that knew what hard work in the fields felt like, it was a hand that had stroked and touched every fiber of his own skin at one time or another. It was a firm hand of which had been placed on his body’s heart when the Pledge of Allegiance was recited and the Star Spangled Banner was played or sang at the opening of a ball game. It was Rico’s own hand and he silently clasped it with his other hand in joy and reunion that another day in Cabo would be had.
I jubilantly jumped for joy as I rose from the double bed with a single guy that is married and took a shower. I met Alex and thanked him for his hospitality, asked for directions to Cabo Cantina because I had a book signing to attend with fellow Caboholic Author Stuart Gustafson with his best seller Missing In Mexico.” I had never met Stuart, but our books of Mexico have rivaled each other on the eKindle version of Mexico Travel Genre many times in the last 3 years. My Bad Tequila is rough, startling and goes down like a double shot of raw Tequila. Missing In Mexico is smooth, tranquil and flows like a tasty, well blended margarita. Great stories are both; but, as different and diverse as Mother Mexico.
As I made the very, short walk around two corners and down the main street to help glow in the celebration of the grand opening of the “Official Caboholic Store,” my face lit up like a lighthouse on a foggy night as did another lighthouse like face nearby – Mr. Johnny Corona in the flesh, just as I had seen him a hundred times and more on facebook with his Mexican style sombero, with brown, gray and some snowy colored hair, covering part of his face and atop covering all his head. Even if his hair someday finds itself alone with white color, this man will never be mistaken for Santa Claus as his belly does not look like a bowl of jelly when he laughs and Mrs. Maddie Corona will never be mistaken for Mrs. Claus as Maddie has beautiful dark hair and a complexion of a Greek Goddess.
I waved the instant I saw Johnny and he to me as in a second Mr. Corona too knew who I was by our constant companionship on Facebook with hundreds of other true, cyber friends who all love each other and respect the friendships we’ve developed and nurtured. His computer was open under the palapa that shaded his table, his chair and his communication device. A Corona cerveza set within an easy grab length from whichever key he choose to stroke with his quick, fun anecdotes of sharing his love of Cabo Life, Boobs, Dogs, Maddie, Cabo Blue and not in this order as his first and greatest love is of his mate for life – the other, prettier Corona.
Johnny stood as I moved closer and we held each other like Brothers reunited after years apart, sailing other seas. I was so pleased that I met Johnny for a one on one time that will forever be cherished as the opportunity to talk with Johnny alone again came up once more at the Auction on the second floor outside when he asked me, “Did you bid on anything?” “YES,” I responded, “on YOUR empty Arco del Cabo Tequila bottle that Miguel Hill gave you.” Johnny smiled. Later that week I took home to Arizona a small part of Cabo San Lucas history.
After about ten minutes three more individuals walked up to our table, two of them gave Johnny a big hug and introductions were made of the Seahawk wearing couple and their friend. David Bambino who has the tan of a thousand Italians and his bonita esposa – Ms. Marnee Ricker of Spokane, WA and their amiga Kat Drake, whose mission in life is to drive old and young men wild with her female exoticism (someday her Grandchildren will read this & the questions will fly).
Next came Maddie and Pam, so I quickly hugged and introduced myself to Maddie as she and Angel were getting ready for the grand opening with putting on the finishing touches and setting up the donated gifts and books. I asked Pam, “Have you brought any Blue Snapper’s to go,” and gave the fiery redhead a hug.
I then had the extreme pleasure of meeting another couple from the New England area that were great friends with the couple from the Spokane area. Liz N Theo Joyal as per their Facebook name greeted us with Liz’s gorgeous, soft face and strong, Bostonian accent. Theo had the persona and looks of Jimmy Buffett relaxing somewhere in the Keys of Florida. A big Grin and a heart a thousand times that of Grinch after it had Grown.
Stuart Gustafson introduced himself and we signed for each other a copy of one another’s best seller and decided that we needed to share a margarita or three. Miguel Hill showed up with amp, guitar and his great voice as did his amiga Frannie Kapsalis who was busy taking many new Arco Tequila orders of which I placed one for the red bottle that is missing from my home collection. I had met Miguel Hill a few years earlier when he had serenaded my wife Connie and I at his restaurant as we sipped Arco del Cabo Tequila and marveled at Miguel’s songs and agave juice. It was great to hug Miguel again and smell the Tequila on his breath as he too took in the aroma of the tequila that hung heavy with me.
The sweet, sweet Mariana Estrada-Tallman came waltzing again into my Cabo life and I once again felt complete. I had met Mariana on that same trip to Cabo when I first met Miguel and Mariana introduced me via facebook to Miguel and the delightful, hospitable Mr. Juan Ramon Tatemura Quesada of Cabo Lounge Bar fame. Mariana was also responsible for introducing me to the great couple Kathy and Martin Daniels of Two for the Road Jazz Spot of which is a staple of my rich diet in Cabo San Lucas. Too, through this social girl, I had met amigo Jay Nance of whom had once owned the Cabo Lounge Bar, but is now a residing neighbor in Arizona. Mr. Larry Bryan came over and introduced himself and told me, "I've been waiting to get my hands on that book of yours, called My Bad Tequila and so it was and so it shall be. Gracias Larry for the true compliment. And a special Thank You to Danny Matthews D Griss for taking the many, memorable photos.
After many songs, ribbon cutting of the opening of the Caboholic Store, some book sales, tequila consumption and cerveza sipping I was asked by Liz N Theo if I wanted to join them, Dave and Marnee, Kat, Brooke and Mariana at J&J La Casa del Habano for some great tequila tasting and a Mojito that Hemingway would appreciate. How could I say anything except, si, Si, SI, Vamos! ;-)
Gran Centenario Anejo Tequila has now taken the place in my mind where I thought about sex, boobs, rock n’ roll, fishing, guns, bigger boobs and other manly shit. Liz N Theo introduced me to this nectar of blue agave, fabulous, fucking good tequila and I am in love. I held her, I smelled her, I caressed her, I sipped her, I nibbled her, I tasted her on my tongue, in my mouth, throughout my body and then I wanted my way with her again and again. Each time her bodily fluids running wild through my veins and I knew I would not find another that satisfied me again, in this way, on this earth. In Cabo, I have found true love, I now just call her lovingly, “Tequila!” Even now, she is beckoning me to join her.
I am now awaking each and every morning at the Playa Grande Resort on the sixth floor, in a suite on the corner with 180 degree views of Cabo and the Pacific Ocean, but I am not alone, “Tequila” is near me.
Dear Andy Benish each morning helps start our day, with a "Good Morning Caboholics" picture and wake up call. We do all love seeing his name and the new locale he has decided to bless the Facebook wall with. Keep up the Great Work, we all love and appreciate it and you.
Next on the agenda, the Meet & Greet of the Sponsors for the Caboholic Convention of which I am extremely proud to announce that “My Bad Tequila” book is in great company with other fine restaurants, bars, cantinas, tequilas, condos, delivery services, taxis and hotels. The venue chosen was exceptional at The Giggling Marlin. This is where I first saw and met Flat Chad Erchul and we became constant companions only being separated by the resorts we had unwisely chosen separately. I think I met Flat Chad’s wife Laura briefly, but it was Flat Chad that consumed my time and laughter. We hit strip joints, late night parlors and bars that only Flat Chad knew the password to get in. One night we hooked up with Brian Williams, just the three of us and we were so indiscreet at the Go Go clubs that nobody even recognized any one of us. It was such fun to be with two other celebrities and none of us getting hounded by autograph seekers, mothers that wanted us to kiss their boobies, I mean babies and naked women flaunting themselves carelessly in harmful yet sexy ways (well, that part, we would have been okay with). Usually when I go out with other famous people such as Captain Wild Bill Wichrowski, Sammy Hagar, Zach Galifianakis, Paul Michael Glaser aka Starsky, David Hasselhoff and Lou Dezarn never do we get a quiet moment to just talk like the regular guys we are, except that we’re super famous and chicks dig us and guys want to hang out with us and we get free shit all the time.
Oh speaking of Lou Dezarn, he did leave his famous firehose in Vegas where he regularly hangs out with Carrot Top, Siegfried and Roy, Mike Tyson and occasionally Nicholas Cage to bless us with his presence in Cabo. He also brought a special, little treat with him by the name of Lisa Morin DeZarn who enhances his appearance greatly. Well, I knew it was going to be kinda of an odd event when Texan Katherine Tanton gives me a “Keep AUSTIN Weird” pin shaped like the Texas Flag and Belinda Travers is coaxing me to “Go ahead & wear it” as she pokes it into my shirt and into my skin and playfully adds, “a little blood never hurt anyone.” Lou not wanting to let everyone know that it is really him in the flesh that has made an appearance as the emcee at Giggling Marlin announces himself as Rico Austin and is wearing my “Rico Austin” name tag. So, lo and behold I am given the “Lou Dezarn” name tag and I’m surrounded by women that are telling me that I’m much better looking in person than on television and the movie screen. Being that I know how to handle hot and really hot women in these “Weird” circumstances and “Weird” situations I just let them compliment me and touch me and plant kisses all over my body. Now, Lou sees this and guess what, he goes beserk, saying “I’m the real Lou Dezarn!” That is Rico Austin a low life imitator of an author that became addicted to “Tequila” and he’ll never love you the way that I love Lisa. I just smiled that smile that I’ve seen Johnny Corona do a million times over again and signed another boob, not pretending it was a book.
Hang on, because “AUSTIN keeps getting Weirder” as a tall dude from Folsom Prison, I mean Folsom, California struts into the bar that has a Giggling Marlin as it’s mascot and says, “My name is Craig Duggins, I’m here to meet my amigo, Rico Austin” and then notices the name tag on Lou’s puffed up chest and states, “You’re an impostor because Rico and I are good facebook buddies and I have an autographed copies of all his books.” Lou begins to stutter and the microphone is powered to “Super ON” and everyone whether a Mexican National, Canadian or American heard both Lou and Brian Williams claiming to be someone that they may or may not be and in desperation Lou belts out a “Meatloaf Challenge” to Chris Shuler who was minding his own business and that of three single ladies. Seems that the talented and famous Lou Dezarn had cooked a few meatloaves for Siegfried and Roy at the Mirage on “Tiger Tuesday” at the Mirage and had heard about Senor Shuler’s famous meatloaf in the food circles of which he hung with. Chris accepts the challenge in his Texas drawl on one condition, “That it is held at La Palapa and all proceeds go to Charity” and shows his belt buckle that he won in a meatloaf cook off in Nashville some 17 years ago to the three single girls that could have or might have been older than 50 years young so that would have made them only 33 years of age when Chris Shuler took home the belt buckle and the waitress / judge.
I’m just enjoying the show as “Tequila”, Liz N Theo Joyal and I enjoy each other’s company. I give Flat Chad a high five & since FC knew everyone that was anyone, he introduced me other friends of Katherine and Belinda – who turned out to be Michelle Lopez Anthony, Patti Slater, Donette Wilson Sullivan, Kristin Couillard, Amanda Osborne, Karen Donovan Joyce, Patti Markus, Kathy Hammer, Dot Hayes, Cabo Di and a bunch of other fun, “Giggling” Girls. I believe I heard a “great tale” (pun intended) that Belinda Travers gave to her BFF Patti Slater the first #1 “Whale Tail Caboholic Pin” or perhaps it was the other way around; but it was a heartwarming story of which I wish I had heard Paul Harvey’s “The Rest of the Story.”
After talking with Chris Shuler about the fun and adventures that Wild Bill Wichrowski of Deadliest Catch and I have had we all decided to go to Blue Cabo for cocktails, singing, dancing, romancing and karaoke. I make one last walk around looking for Amigo David L. Van Amburg as we have been chatting on facebook about this trip for months. Still a no show! I probably should make a Disclaimer for this Blog only: “The events happened, the day or night in which it actually happened may or may not be correct. Remember Boys and Girls, Tequila and Cervezas were involved which both are considered Alcohol and are Mind Bending, Memory Losing substances that can help distort your thinking that you’ve become a great dancer, a beautiful voice that has to be heard or that you have become bullet proof and hard falls just make you stronger.” Alrighty then, off to Cabo Blue where Craig and I become heavily intoxicated and talked with several individuals including but not limited to Rick Ayers, , Scott Moore, Alan Thiers and involved in multiple fun conversations of which I don’t recollect many or any of them with the charismatic couple of Kathryn Riechel Stoner and Kirk Stoner of which when my bar tab came due at the end of the great, hot evening my credit card could not be accepted and Margo Marek had to give me the dismal news. I was confused, distraught, embarrassed and several other things that I don’t have the time to list or describe. Low and behold a man who I had just hours earlier met said, “No problemo Rico, here’s $2000 pesos to get you by until you can get things straightened out with your bank or credit card.” How Awesome is Kirk Stoner, he is that Awesome. The next day I called the credit card company, got it straightened out, had mucho casho dinero and when I went to pay Kirk back he tells me, “You signed us a couple of books, take some of that money back.” No way Jose or Kirk, or whatever Your name is: You did a great deed and You will get full payment. Kirk then bought me a beer with his money. ;-) Kirk and I took pictures together with the “Cabo Stong” picture frame. Thank You Amigo!
What day is it now? Maybe Monday, yes Snorkeling and Booze Cruise named Cabo Escape and there were so many of us that others had to go on the Pirate Ship – Cabo Legend? YES, Garrett Doyle was correct with his ever conviction of a prediction that "We're gonna need a bigger boat." Best booze cruise I’ve ever been on, might have been the Caboholic persons, might have been the endless cervezas and tequila, might have been the whale show of which Amiga Katherine Tanton captured a superb shot with her iPad of a breaching whale. I see the whales, the cocktails, but still no David L. Van Amburg. I’m still wondering why Bob Noxious and Mariana Estrada Tallman got preferential treatment and were boarded prior to us others. Could it be that they are well respected in the Circle of Captains of Cabo? YES, great Trip, snorkeling not so great, but the cool water, just hangin’ drinkin’ cervezas in the Sea of Cortez was one of the highlights of the trip. Got to party some more with Justin Erfle, Jessica Ross, Craig Duggins, Mariana, Bob Noxious and some other cool people. Wish Liz N Theo Joyal hadn’t left for the cold just yet. They would have enjoyed another day with Dave, Marnee, “Tequila” and I. This song is for Liz N Theo – You and Tequila make me Crazy by Kenny Chesney; http://www.bing.com/search?q=you+and+tequila+make+me+crazy&src=IE-TopResult&FORM=IETR02&conversationid=
I now have time to go back to Playa Grande Resort, take a swim, perhaps a nap and even a shower (just kidding, of course I took a nap.) I get on Facebook and there is a message from David L. Van Amburg that there has been a family emergency and he will not be making the trip to Cabo. I’m sad for him, say a little prayer and take a nap. Time to get dressed, get my remaining books together and head over to the Two for the Road Jazz Spot for a night of great music, tequila drinking and book signing and maybe a hug or four from a female fan. Yes, Kathy and Marty Daniels are two very special people to Cabo and to me. I love them both dearly and have had many late night conversations , some serious, some outrageous and some just plain slapstick silly, but all enjoyable and meaningful. I did a couple of readings, one from “My Bad Tequila” and another from “In the Shadow of ELVIS, Perils of a Ghostwriter.” I drank some good tequila, shared some memories and stories and stumbled home feeling complete. Well, my home that night was in the backseat of a pickup as my poor little, tired, drunk self just couldn't make it up that hill again. Thank You Mr. Truck owner for not locking the door.
It might be Pub Crawl Day or Meat Loaf Cook Off Day? They’re all running together. Busy schedule, no time for the beach or the pool as I’ve got Amigas & Amigos to see, pubs to crawl to and meatloaf to taste. Guess, I’ll go with the Meatloaf Cookoff since it involves my two, too good amigos Lou & Shu as their head to head competition has them slated. I choose not to judge as I know I’ll love them both and I can not, will not, would not, could not, should not judge this food extravaganza. It was close, but Chris Shuler took home another belt buckle and waitress / judge and Lou, well Lou is still famous and will go back to Vegas to his glamourous lifestyle while the rest of us will return home to our dull and meaningless lives of writing books, milking cows, counting money, selling tires, fixing people’s lives, mending broken bones, serving meals to the homeless, bartending, giving root canals, selling mansions and mega real estate, farming the field, picking the grapes, teaching young children to read, drilling for oil, fishing and prostitution.
Okay, we might be doing the Pub Crawl that consisted of 11 or 12 stops? You might have noticed my detail is getting less and less as I am hovering at over 5,500 words just on this single topic which is over 1/10th of a novel. Some of this may go into a short story or into “My Bad Tequila II, the Next Bottle!” I am going to premature apologize for not remembering all of the Pub Crawl Bars and Sponsors – will try to list what I remember: Hooligans was the last stop I believe, Happy Ending, Wicked Pizza, The Wet Cactus, Cabo Blue Bar, Tanga Tanga, The Jungle Bar, Rips, Cabo Cantina, Rock n Brew, Uno Mas, Sangria Bar & John’s Place. I do remember some of the people on our team – Bob Noxious – team captain, heavy drinker; Jessica Ross and Brooke Yoder and some other people that I couldn’t tell if they were on our team or someone else’s team as the teams were kind of all there or maybe I was just seeing double and triple. I know that Bob told me I won a “I’m a Caboholic” koozie that I had to give my wife when I returned home, but I have Johnny Corona’s empty Arco bottle and a Sponsor Banner given to me by Maddie.
I also need to mention that some events were very charitable, not only in giving dollars and pesos; but, with time donated and spent visiting orphans – Feeding Los Cabos Kids, homeless animals – Humane Society and El Ranchito. I am sad to say that I was signed up for the El Ranchito in San Jose, but missed the ride. Stayed out too late at Two for the Road Jazz Club. Thanks to Maddie for arranging this and to all those that spent part of your valuable vacation time doing something Fantastic and Unselfish.
Hiking Solmar with Cabo Kruzer, the other hike was to be led by Bob Noxious, but he injured his foot and had to cancel so that gave me a legitimate reason to cancel. Thanks a lot Bob!
George Landrum also donated a Fishing Trip Raffle in honor of his late wife Mary at the “Meet and Greet.” “Great Respect for a Great Man that has Respect for a Great Woman.” – rico austin
Todos Santos Day Trip to see the famous Hotel California. I wanted to take this excursion, but will wait to share it when my bride can tag along and I believe we’ll probably spend the night.
Cabo Villas Pool Party was a blast, music a blaring, skin a bearing, Miguel a sharing (his Tequila). I remember seeing Maddie getting pulled around the pool like a queen on her inflatable chariot by several different roman soldiers. I even took my tour of duty like a brave infantryman. I sold a couple of books which bought me a couple of drinks. What happens in Cabo, stays in Cabo, we don’t need no stinkin’ IRS.
Fire truck engine ride time! I may be a mongrel Heinz 57 mutt; but, for the first time in all my puppy life I knew what it felt like to be a Dalmation with the wind blowing through my white and black spotted hair, the shrill whistle screaming through my alert ears and my little pug nose getting to smell every little taco stand that we whizzed by with my skinny little tail wagging huge in the air as I was waving my paw at all the children, workers, vacationers, shop owners and other mutts in the street! Pam Conway with her not matching red hair to the red fire truck sat up front. Thanks for a fun time Karen Libby, Scott Martin, Jim Conway, Garrett Doyle and his lovely bride / wingman as he calls her – Maureen Fine Doyle who celebrated her 60th year since birth with the Caboholics. Gracias Bomberos Voluntarios de Cabo San Lucas for your fire protection and Amiga Maddie Corona for putting this together and Amigo Lou Dezarn for convincing me that this was an activity not to miss! Feeling like man's best friend!
Finale was the Dinner / Auction at Desperado’s where many of us donated items of which we made, built, wrote, drank from, or spent cash on providing. The highlight of the night was when they auctioned off the cardboard “Cabo Strong” sign made by Mr. Kevin Crosby (THANK YOU KEVIN) that toured the San Jose / Cabo San Lucas area during the devastating Hurricane Odile. Johnny Corona had the winning bid at I believe $500 and purchased it for his love and partner of Cabo – Maddie Corona. I love the Haneys! I’m just going off a bad memory, but I believe the total raised for the week for various charities was $11,000; If I was still gambling I would double down on that figure as I know how lucky we are as Caboholics and how this group continues to amaze me when it comes to helping others that desperately are in need. Again, Garrett Doyle was correct in his many posts "We're gonna need a bigger boat," and Miguel Hill played his music and sang his Cabo songs and I have my beautiful "Tequila" on my lips.
Special shout out to The Wet Cactus and Keith Perry’s incredible crew. On my last, lonely night I decided to go and have the Lobster Nachos, met a nice couple of Caboholics from the Salt Lake City, Utah area and left my bag that had my Sponsor Flag and my empty bottle of Arco that had previously been finished off by Johnny Corona at The Wet Cactus. When I returned home to my resort I realized I had left the bag of goodies and called the bar. They had the merchandise behind the bar and gave it to me. For their honesty and help, I have them $100 peso and all of us were happy. I relayed this story via facebook to Keith and we also received great news that none of his immediate family were seriously injured in the vehicle accident. GOD is Great!TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S CABO ESCAPE / CABO LEGEND SNORKEL PARTY
CABOHOLIC POKER/CANTINA CRAWL
TODOS SANTOS DAY TRIP
DINNER / AUCTION AT DESPERADO'S
I have lived the CABO life, where everybody gets treated like a Rock Star including Sammy Hagar (The Red Rocker)! Last minute one-way fare to CABO $383.00; Taxi from SJD to downtown CABO $17.00, a Blue Snapper drink $10.00 at La Palapa, getting to be on stage with Brian Flynn and/or Miguel Hill, sharing a margarita with Dave and Marnee and having a Mojito at J&J Hemingway's with Liz N Theo Joyal- Priceless!
Lost & Found Section: I lost my pet Scorpion - Sting and my "Keep AUSTIN Weird" pin given by Amiga Katherine Tanton. I am extremely distraught about both losses, more so than my virginity which also fell by the wayside, but that was before I boarded the plane. Last time I saw either one of the other two was on my flight back to Los Angeles. If any of you happen to hear of a story involving someone getting a prick or stung, please notify me immediately and please keep it quiet. I don't need no bad publicity no time, no where, know what I mean. http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/15/us/lax-scorpion-plane/index.html
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"Lovin' Life & Livin' Large!" - rico austin
Saludos y Vayan con Dios,
Please Like my Facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Official-My-Bad-Tequila-Fan-Page/108959375814100?fref=ts
Last, but not least, please “LIKE” my new page on Facebook, "ELVIS - (In The Shadow Of)"
https://www.facebook.com/#!/InTheShadowOfElvisPerilsOfAGhostwriter?fref=ts
Now that You’ve had the opportunity to “LIKE,” it is now time to “Buy.”
http://www.amazon.com/MY-BAD-TEQUILA-Rico-Austin-ebook/dp/B004OC03TS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1427090195&sr=8-2&keywords=rico+austin
http://www.amazon.com/In-Shadows-Elvis-Perils-Ghostwriter/dp/1936745097/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1367280599&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=in+the+shadow+of+elvis
Uncle Rico
Rico Austin
Author, Blogger, Tequila Connoisseur, Co-Songwriter, Part-time Movie Star, CEO, Amigo & One Righteous Dude - MY BAD TEQUILA
"Have a Double Shot of Reality" TM
www.mybadtequila.com
blog.mybadtequila.com
CABO, YOU Complete ME!
Caboholics 4th Annual Convention - February 7th - 14th, 2015
Author Rico Austin with fellow Caboholics Liz N Theo Joyal & Rico's true love "Tequila"
We're celebrating the life of Centenario (TEQUILA) & of being blessed as a Caboholic!
Rico, Theo Joyal, Kat Drake, David Bambino, Marnee Ricker, Mariana Estrada & Liz Joyal
Rico, Theo Joyal, Kat Drake, David Bambino, Marnee Ricker, Mariana Estrada & Liz Joyal
Yep, some of Rico's adventures begin at the Airport! & no he's not scared, just confused!
My beautiful neice Audrey Austin & cousin Courtney Shippy at Grammys
There are those 2 beautiful girls making their way to the Red Carpet!
Stayed tuned for the next picture!
Stayed tuned for the next picture!
Okay, it is Official, Audrey & Courtney are on the Red Carpet at the Grammys!
Flat Chad with Amigos! Flat Chad, AMEX & Brian Williams, everywhere You want 2 B
!
!
Meatloaf will never be looked at the same way again!
Will the real Lou please stand up?
Brooke Yoder telling & joking about my serious "HAND" story!
Not Funny, Jessica & Maddy!
Not Funny, Jessica & Maddy!
More fun at Rico Austin's expense! He shares a personal moment & the world laughs!
At least Author Rico Austin has some place he can hide and talk in privacy with Lou Dezarn
Author Rico Austin tasting the first ever "Blue Snapper" by Pam Conway at La Palapa!
It was fun, no one recognized me with Sunglasses & a huge glass filled with Blue Snapper!
It was fun, no one recognized me with Sunglasses & a huge glass filled with Blue Snapper!
Whale sighting while on Cabo Escape, captured by Amiga Katherine Tanton
Author Rico Austin trying to make it to another Caboholic event!
My poor Ass hurts from being all over Cabo!
My poor Ass hurts from being all over Cabo!
Marty Daniels sent me this photo of Steve Miller doing a gig at Two for the Road Jazz Spot
Senor Daniels swears that Rico Austin is uncover Steve Miller!
Senor Daniels swears that Rico Austin is uncover Steve Miller!
Fire Truck Engine Red Fun - Where is Maddie? Went 2 get another Cocktail!
I see Pam Conway almost driving the Red Truck with the Red Hair!
I see Pam Conway almost driving the Red Truck with the Red Hair!
Okay enough already! Brian, please give it a rest! We know, we heard all Your stories during the Caboholics 4th Annual Convention and we're sick of it. We know You know Flat Chad, Lou, Shuler, Liz N Theo, Johnny Corona & his wife Maddie, Brooke, Senor Bambino & his squeeze Marnie, Audrey & Courtney, the Conways - Jim & Pam, Craig, Kirk & Kathryn, Miguel Hill, both Bryans - Flynn & Larry, Miguel Hill (you've mentioned him twice now), Garrett, Andy, Kathy & Marty Daniels, Wild Bill Wichrowski, Rico Austin & Sammy Hagar! Please go back to Flat Chad's Cabo Villa & Chillax!
"And there I was, buying a beer for Rico Austin when he lost a lens of his glasses,"
another story by Brian Williams
another story by Brian Williams
I nearly made it back to Playa Grande Resort, just shy of 4 blocks & a steep hill!
Now where did I leave my Ass?
Now where did I leave my Ass?
Now I remember, loaned it to some Amigos to haul "Tequila" back to Flat Chad's Villa!
On stage with Bryan Flynn, taken right before getting kicked off stage!
Not pictured: Flat Chad, Lou Dezarn, Brian Williams
Not pictured: Flat Chad, Lou Dezarn, Brian Williams
Uh Yeah, what he said! "Lovin' Life & Livin' Large" - rico austin
One of my favorite places & favorite people - Kathy & Marty Daniels!
I have had more book signings here than anywhere in Cabo - 4 is the lucky number!
I have had more book signings here than anywhere in Cabo - 4 is the lucky number!
Three Beautiful Caboholic Women, One Super Hero, & One Lucky, Righteous Dude!
Even Batman is a Caboholic! Not pictured Robin!
The Wild Bunch at Two for the Road Jazz Spot!
This Clown & Chris Shuler will be giving out Free Hugs at La Palapa!
for a free Tequila lick - tell 'em Rico sent ya!
for a free Tequila lick - tell 'em Rico sent ya!
Grand Opening - Ribbon Cutting Ceremony of Johnny's Caboholic Store!
February 7th, 2015!
February 7th, 2015!
Proud Sponsors of the 2015 Caboholics Convention! Please Support!
These Caboholics supported all the Convention Sponsors !
Will YOU on YOUR next Trip? Of Course YOU will, YOU'RE CABOHOLICS!
Thank You to Danny Matthews D Griss for taking memorable photos including this one!
Will YOU on YOUR next Trip? Of Course YOU will, YOU'RE CABOHOLICS!
Thank You to Danny Matthews D Griss for taking memorable photos including this one!
Thank YOU Maddie & Johnny! I can not wait for the V Convention in 2016!
Please invite me back, I promise to be a better hombre next time!
No more partying with Flat Chad & Brian Williams until the wee hours of the manana!
Please invite me back, I promise to be a better hombre next time!
No more partying with Flat Chad & Brian Williams until the wee hours of the manana!
this picture was taken right before Johnny Corona bid the winning amount of $500
to give this to his wife Maddie who is holding the "Cabo Strong" frame!
Lou still can not believe he lost the Meat Loaf cookoff while Chris gloats off to the side!
This was an incredible week & auction - even those that could not make it sent items!
THANK YOU CABOHOLICS! I Love YOU Man & Woman!
to give this to his wife Maddie who is holding the "Cabo Strong" frame!
Lou still can not believe he lost the Meat Loaf cookoff while Chris gloats off to the side!
This was an incredible week & auction - even those that could not make it sent items!
THANK YOU CABOHOLICS! I Love YOU Man & Woman!
I found David Van Amburg! Still missing "Keep Austin Weird" pin & pet scorpion - Sting!
Sorry Sammy! Didn't make it to Cabo Wabo this trip! I was super busy & we'll get together again on Your Birthday - October 13th, 2015! Don't worry, Flat Chad will B there!
Hey, don't B pointing fingers! I didn't give Baby Carlos the Tequila!
Zach where R U?
Zach where R U?
Author Rico Austin with Amigos Zach Galifiankis & Baby Carlos somewhere in Cabo!
Rico Austin with Amigo Kirk Stoner at Desperados for the Caboholic Auction!
One Memorable, Unforgettable Week of Celebration and Vacation!
"Living on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi!
One Memorable, Unforgettable Week of Celebration and Vacation!
"Living on a Prayer" - Bon Jovi!
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