I have to warn you, towards the end of the Blog there is a whole lot of gossip about what is going on with Eldrick (Tiger) Woods & Justin (Beaver) Bieber. This stuff is juicy and is hotter than any of the Hollywood tabloids as I get info here in Arizona faster than they do in California or New York and that's a fact, Jack.
January 7th, 2012; 4:00 am
Alarms going off simultaneously is not the best wake up sound for a Monday morning; however, it is quite effective and arousing. I bounce from my restless sleep into a full uneasy awakeness, knowing that in umpteen hours I can once again lay my head on a pillow and my body to rest on hopefully a comfortable bed somewhere in Washington near a ski resort.
Shower is super hot, eases the aches in my lower back, knees and …. I’ve spent too much time in the soothing shower as shown by my Blackberry as I check for any new messages. 4:37 am is not a good time when looking at a 6:45 am flight from PHX to PDX and having only towel dried. Hurriedly I put on my underwear which includes T-shirt & shorts with a pair of socks. I’d already shaven and brushed my teeth; however, I had yet not driven to the airport nor had I checked my luggage.
Southwest Airlines is at Terminal 4. Like a good guy saving a semi –bad guy in a movie, the bus pulled up to the curb and announced that Terminal 4 was being entered onto. I sprang like a female cottontail rabbit about to be mounted by Peter Cottontail with my toolbox, large suitcase that weighed less than 50 pounds and my laptop with copied handouts. These handouts would make the difference between a successful presentation and one with high hopes of becoming a semi-successful presentation.
Dollar was the rental car that gave me an incredible lease of which I might be able to fulfill my work duties! I had arrived at nearly 9:00 am into Portland and needed breakfast in the worst way.
Snoqualmie Pass in Washington state is not a picnic, nor is it the absolute, first place in which You might find an ogre or troll. The exit was 52 off Interstate 90 headed east toward Spokane from Seattle. Mike and I watched the temperature slowly drop as did the snow. 38 degrees, 37, 35, I slowed from sixty five miles per hour to fifty five, then forty as the LCD reading of the temperature continued to drop to freezing and beyond. Approximately twelve feet of snow greeted us along with the yellow loader clearing the parking lot of the Summit Inn. We both put on our winter jackets before heading into the building, pulling our suitcases and lugging our laptops to check in and then off to find the Sahalie Ski Lodge where our customers would be staying, bunk and dorm style. The 14,500 square foot lodge with four stories equipped with three fireplaces and a tremendous size dining room was a beautiful sight surrounded by the color of white with fir trees rising towards the heavens.
We had agreed a couple of weeks earlier that most of us attending the sales event would meet that evening at the restaurant / bar at Summit Inn to watch the National BCS (Bowl Championship Series) that what it is suppose to mean, but we all know what it equates to is Bullsh-t Championship Sucks. Mike & I arrived just as kick off had begun, each of us ordering some dinner and a Cazadores Tequila hid away in a margarita with salt. By the time the others had arrived at the beginning of the 2nd quarter, Alabama had a sizeable lead over Notre Dame and interest in the game was as lost as were the Fighting Irish of ND. At the start of the fourth quarter, everyone was clearing out so I headed out to my room as did Mike and a couple of other manufacturer reps to perhaps finish watching The Crimson Tide roll on the Catholic University.
The Summit Inn looked quite inviting in the lobby area as there was a real fir Christmas tree wholly (no pun intended) decorated with lights, bulbs, tinsel and with more bulbs and lights and tinsel. There was a trophy size elk head on display above the check in counter with over sized ceilings that with reached above the second floor with varnished wood logs neatly embedded together. Once, you hauled your luggage up the one flight of stairs, that is when Casper the Friendly Ghost leaves and a not so friendly ghost seems to arrive. The hallway is long, dark and the flooring laid with what seemed to resemble cheap, outdoor carpeting. My room was only two doors from being at the complete other end, near the red, glowering EXIT sign. Exit was what I indeed wanted to do. Mike’s room was near the entrance and the lobby where I yearned to be. Half jokingly, I whispered loudly, “This looks like the hallway of ‘The Shining’ with Jack Nicholson.” “Yes, it does,” agreed Mike and he added, “if I see a kid on a tricycle riding through the hall I’ll call you."
"Red Rum, red rum," I murmured while scaring myself even more.
“Mike, you’d better lock your door tonight, because I have a feeling that I’m going to be both cold and scared tonight,” I said as he put his key into the door lock and I continued my long trek into the manmade tunnel of which I could barely see light at its end. I turned the heat up high, found the remote and the game, but was having a difficult time hearing the television as the loader was being operated as a snow shovel right outside my back window. I looked out and saw the removal of several feet on snow pushed into a long, wide bank. In the distance I could see the flashing yellow light of a snow plow on the Interstate and an occasional lone trucker pass by. At this instance, the lights flickered and then the TV and all other power of electricity ceased for a few seconds and then the lights came back on to their normal mode; however the television just had black and white lines running continuously across the screen that eerily resembled many horror movies. I leapt to the phone with only my long underwear over my short underwear and dialed Mike’s room number. Thankfully, he answered on the second ring and said, “Yes?”
To this I immediately responded, “Mike, did your power and television set go off?”
“Yeah, the lights flickered a couple of times, but the tv is still down.”
“Oh good, I was hoping it wasn’t just my room,” I nervously chuckled and said, “Goodnight.”
I knew that Alabama had won the game, I just didn’t know by how many dozen touchdowns until later the next day.
January 8th, 2012;
The rental vehicle was covered with a good eight inches of white powder and a heavy layer of frost iced to the windows below that. I quietly thanked GOD for leading me to Arizona, land of warm, hot and sometimes very hot. After scraping the important windows for driving purposes, Mike and I drove the short distance to the Sahalie Ski Lodge where we had been invited for breakfast the evening prior.
After finding a suitable parking spot off the side of the road since the parking lot was unusable and closed because of the massive snow dump for the last couple of weeks we hiked uphill to the lodge. We had our hands full with presentation materials, pamphlets and tools which made reaching our destination of over a hundred yards in the icy tundra even more gruesome. I had hiking boots placed snugly around my feet, but Mike had none. He wore his professional black soled dress shoes and lost his footing on the slick roadway before we had reached the incline path that led to the front door of warmth and food. Mike hit the snow packed roadway hard, bounced back up quickly for a man in his thirties even though Mike was much nearer his seventies.
“Are you hurt?” I blurted, as I felt his pain through the scene I had witnessed.
“No, I think I’m alright. Wow, that was quick, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah, one second your walking and the next your feet were in the air and you were on your back. I can’t believe how quickly you got back on your feet. You’re pretty agile for an old man,” I teased.
Just at that moment a voice from the darkness addressed us, “We lost power last night, but we’ve got a couple of small generators going and a huge fire.” Go on up the hill and warm yourselves.” It was then that we saw the man that resembled a lumberjack equipped with tools, axe and a flashlight that he decided to turn on at that instance to point the way to the lone building in the snow. We thanked him and continued our treacherous climb in hopes of finding food and shelter very quickly as I am from Arizona and Mike is from Southern California. How long we’d survive in temperatures like this were questionable and neither of us wanted to explore our bodily limits.
Upon reaching the summit and entrance to the front door we both stomped our feet to remove all clinging snow and ice from our shoes. The building was dark, after we entered the hallway that led to the stairs we could see flickering lights either from a candle or a flashlight. Turned out to be both as some of the persons had candles while others had a couple of flashlights. “Hello, welcome; we’ll have breakfast ready in a few minutes, go on upstairs to the kitchen and dining room. Some of the guys are cooking eggs and bacon on the grill outside. Maintenance is working on getting power back to us, try and make yourselves at home,” greeted the female half of the caretaking couple that were assigned to watch over the lodge during the month of January.
The Sahalie Ski Lodge is jointly owned by its members and some of them volunteer to care for the lodge and help with accommodations for visitors and special events such as this. There is a very interesting story about this place on the Internet if you care to learn more. The original lodge was burned to the ground as a result of an accident; but, no casualties and the lodge was rebuilt. http://www.sahalie.org/chair2/History.aspx
Sure enough, three brave souls were around the enormous grill just outside the front door on the patio while a group of us watched intently on the inside through the gigantic plate glass windows at our eggs being scrambled to perfection by the heroic fast order cooks with candles in hand on the outside braving the freezing temperatures. The breakfast was epic, when I’ve tasted better eggs and bacon I know not.
Eventually when the sun finally rose, the natural sunlight streaming through the windows allowed for the sales event to begin. The power was restored around 10:30 am and all’s well that ends well. For more information on this story please see in the Shadow of ELVIS, Perils of a Ghostwriter, it is all in there.
A day later and I was back in sunny Arizona.
We've had some record breaking rain deposits up here in North Scottsdale this last weekend so I did what I do best, I watched golf and wrote over 8500 words to my latest novel which is just about finished. I want so badly to tell the name of it; but my publisher has advised me against it. However, my new Children's book, "ARIZONA Is Where I Live," will be available any day now. I have taken my love of the desert beauty, the animals of Arizona, the majestic Grand Canyon and have turned it into an educational and fun Children's book. The illustrator, Cindy Work has a 7 year old grandson and she is sharing her love of creating, drawing and painting to help create an very unique look at Arizona.
Speaking of golf, is Tiger Woods back or is he just having success again at Torrey Pines where he has won this event (Farmers Insurance Open) the seventh time, and he set a PGA Tour record by winning at Torrey Pines for the eighth time, including his 2008 U.S. Open win.
This man that has a nickname of a ferocious animal is worth an estimated $600 million with an annual income of $85 million may agree to part with some of it if the rumors that Tiger Woods is willing to give up half of his net worth in an anti-cheating clause in order to remarry his ex-wife, Elin Nordegren. According to the National Enquirer, the pro-golfer got down on one knee (not sure which knee) with a big ass engagement ring asking for the former Swedish model's hand in marriage on Christmas Day.
In 2010, the couple divorced after it was revealed that Woods was a serial cheater who had multiple affairs with porn stars and strippers. The National Enquirer, did say some of the stuff that follows here; but the other good stuff I have from my own sources of which I can not disclose, but I do have a Torrey Pines golf shirt. Nordegren is also willing to make up and pu-t out if Woods signs a $200 million pre-nuptial agreement with the inclusion of a $350 million anti-cheating clause.
Hey Mr. Woods, I'll sign that contract for half that much and you can still have your porn stars, hookers, prostitutes, strippers, Burger King flippers and all the side saddle riding whores you want. And if you want that little saucy Olympic gold medallist Lindsey Vonn have at it. But, beware, now instead of having a golf club swung at your head, watch out for the sharp points of a ski pole which could poke an eye out. Yes, ski poles are as dangerous as Daisy BB guns to the delicate retina. Remember, folks you always hear it here first on the "My Bad Tequila" Blog.
Between Justin Bieber and Tiger Woods I can't keep up with who they're banging, I mean dating. But the Tiger has the Beaver beat when it comes to net worth as the Beaver only has a net worth of $110 million, come on Bieber step it up, oh, Baby, oh Baby! Personally, I can't wait until Bieber grows a couple and loses his Peter Brady changing voice. Sorry to all my teeny bopper fans, (all 21 of you) but that is really the way I feel about your head throb, I mean heart throb.
Celebrities that I've hung out with this past month include Sarah Palin who now has her own copy of "My Bad Tequila" and her daughter Bristol Palin's son Tripp has the very first copy (actually the blue line or proof) of "Arizona Is Where I Live." I met up with Sarah and her husband, Todd and some of their AZ friends at Harold's Corral in Cave Creek, AZ on Friday night, January 18th and we had a blast listening to one of my favorite Arizona bands, Mogollon Band while kicking it with my wife Connie, Elvis' son - John Dennis Smith, his wife - Lisa, TC and Mike. Gavin the manager made us all feel right at home with the Western Hospitality! In fact Gavin and his Amiga Janelle are having a Birthday celebration tonight 1-30-2013 at Harold's Corral. Not sure if Sarah will be there or not, but, I did hear that John McCain may be making an appearance with his hot daughter and fellow AZ author - Meghan McCain. Woo Hoo!
Also spent some time in Orange County - Huntington Beach & Seal Beach with my old Idaho room mate who just happens to be Actor, Model & Hollywood Stuntman - Steve Boyce; He just finished doing a skit on Jay Leno's, "The Tonight Show that aired on 1-24-2013; Great job Amigo, always great to have a night out with you. Oh, and he is doing very first Super Bowl Commercial and he will "Crack" you up.
Watch for the Hyundai Commercial in the first quarter & vote on it for the most funny - por favor; I have attached both the skit & you can go to my facebook page to see the commercial:
Just go ahead and copy & paste if it not able to get it by clicking; Definitely worth the effort!
https://www.facebook.com/#!/rico.austin go ahead & send me a friend request if you like, can't ever have enough Amigas & Amigos!
Now check out the pictures below & Que Tengan un Buen Ano 2013!
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